Here is an article my brother forwarded me today. It's an article written by a Mark Kiszla from the Denver Post regarding the Minnesota Wild/Colorado Avalanche playoff series. This guy doesn't have a clue.
Ugly Betty hockey in Colorado's future
By Mark Kiszla
The Denver Post
Article Last Updated: 04/15/2008 10:10:20 AM MDT
Let the mugging begin.
It's the only way the Minnesota Wild can win.
To advance in the NHL playoffs, the Avalanche must embrace the darkness. When playing this goon-it- up Wild bunch, hockey is a no-holds- barred battle of attrition, not skill.
The only good thing that can be said about Minnesota's 3-2 overtime victory against Colorado was the game lasted so deep into the night that it ended past the bedtime of most kids who could be frightened by the way the Wild mauls all the beauty from the sport.
In a long playoff series, this is the Wild motto: If you can't beat 'em, break 'em.
"You hope to wear down the opposition," Minnesota mauler Aaron Voros said Monday.
"By Games 4, 5 or 6, those bumps and bruises start
Minnesota, the land of 10,000 dead car batteries, has an inferiority about this hockey team. The Wild's style of play is as ugly and obnoxious as the uniforms, which look as if designed by a toddler who randomly pulled two crayons from the box of 64 and began scribbling.
This hard truth makes the Wild faithful grumpier than they are after waking up to yet another subzero morning. But why deny what makes the team so successful?
It figures. On a play that could have ended on an icing call, a weird, lucky bounce instead allowed the winning goal to be scored by Minnesota's Pierre-Marc Bouchard almost 12 minutes deep into the extra period. The Wild likes overtime, because it gives these grunts more time to knock the spirit from you with every cheap shot.
When Avs forward Peter Forsberg turns his back, even for a second, he will get jumped and roughed up, in true back-alley fashion, by some Minnesota mugger.
Or did you miss the assault on Forsberg during the second period by Wild defenseman Sean Hill, who owns the dubious distinction of being the first NHL player suspended from the league for steroids?
If Colorado goalie Jose Theodore makes too many brilliant saves, the Wild response is not to create traffic in front of the net, but cause a train wreck.
And maybe that explains why Voros felt it necessary to tackle Theodore in the most crass act of Game 3.
That the Avalanche put 46 shots on goal ultimately made no difference, because the Wild put more hard hits on Colorado.
Minnesota coach Jacques Lemaire, mean enough to chew the glass surrounding the rink, has an unabashed fondness for tough guys. The more the scarier.
You've got to hate watching the Wild play, but love the way Lemaire refuses to give an inch of open ice. The never-surrender attitude of his team must be born in the cold recesses of Lemaire's heart.
The dark hockey arts are practiced by every member of the Wild. Even a player as remarkably talented as Minnesota center Mikko Koivu is not adverse to hacking and tripping when Colorado's Ryan Smyth is carrying the puck on goal.
Every videotape of a Minnesota game is film noir, packed with the moral ambiguity of doing whatever it takes and never apologizing.
Anywhere the Wild goes, flowers wilt, the sky turns gray and beauty dies.
After three games, can there be any doubt?
This series is doomed to be a bloody mess.
"I think we're playing pretty physical," Avalanche defenseman Adam Foote said.
And a serious question is how long Forsberg, whose banged-up body has been an injury waiting to happen for years, can hold up to the relentless battering he receives on every shift.
"I don't try to look at the number before I make a hit," Voros said. "Sometimes, it looks that way because Forsberg has possession of the puck so much."
When scores are certain to be scarce and the mugging is beyond the control of any referee, what's the lone goal for the Avs now?
Be the last men standing, and live to play something that resembles beautiful hockey another day.
Mark Kiszla: mkiszla@denverpost.com
